Innate vs Learned and Logical vs Preposterous... or Not?
As an Anthropologist the nature vs nurture debate is one of my all time favorites especially because with each passing day it grows further and further from resolution. To be quite forthcoming I never anticipated that my work with children on the autism spectrum would deepen my considerations on this topic. But I was completely and utterly dead wrong. This field has allowed me to spend my days with children whose minds are clean of cultural intrusions, un-shrouded by the limitations our societies have forced upon us. Some say individuals with autism must learn things from us, must be taught to conform to cultural norms so they can better function in our world. While I believe it's important to explain what is expected of the individuals in our working society I have found that we can learn so much about life and culture from these uniquely intelligent minds.
I often wonder how much of what I see, hear, know and believe is based simply off my environment and the inner-workings of the well-greased social phenomena that is my culture. Generally speaking I feel I have a pretty good grasp on what's innate vs what's learned; what's biological vs what's taught through life's circumstances; what's logical vs what's preposterous. But then I hang out with one of my kiddos and am reminded again that just when I think I have it all figured out, I've actually got it all wrong. (just as a disclaimer I'm very supportive of the LGBT community)
You would think it would be the most logical conclusion that a man and a woman would end up together, married with a family. A child should naturally assume this considering the fact that they have both a mother and a father. Many would assume it's a natural inclination for a man to desire a woman, or visa-versa, due to the fact that it requires both sexes to create a life. This is what marriage is all about, right? Procreation? Then a child comes to me during a very casual conversation about the "gray areas" of strangers and admits that he'll likely end up never marrying or in one of those "uni-sex" marriages when he's older. This kiddo in particular attempts logic in every ounce of his life, although sometimes he can go a little too far and overgeneralize, overall he's quite in-tune has reasonable arguments. Seeing as this child often struggles to understand cultural norms, many would say his thoughts are biologically-driven and flow from a deeper human-nature phenomena. So why is it that this child has come to the conclusion that he'd end up with a man or not married at all when the time comes? That's not what we'd typically assume would come from a child without excessive amounts of cultural influence. Why, then, would he choose a man over a woman? Because he knows boys better, gets along with them, and doesn't have any lady friends. Yes, when we tell a six year old they might get married in the future to someone of the opposite sex they tend to say "ewww!", but this was not the reaction I received, and the kiddo in question is twelve, not six. Logically, to this child who hasn't much experience with the LGBT community, he should be with a dude in the future. I must say I really loved that he said that. It was one of the more incredible things I've heard from a child and illustrates that open-mindedness and logic can come from anywhere, anytime and anyone. This was one of two times I was so stunned into silence by a response that there was nowhere else the conversation could really flow. (I really love these mutually-learning moments)
Then of course there's the conversation shared with a similarly-aged kiddo about unicorns. It seems slightly age-inappropriate for a middle schooler to legitimately believe in unicorns, doesn't it? We feared kids may pick on her and find her peculiar if she believes they truly exist, so naturally, we spark a conversation about it. She begins by being defensive, as expected, and meets most of our very calm, collected comments with angry jabs in retaliation. Eventually we believe we have her to a point where she just can't argue this one any further. We think we've won. Then a poorly-planned comment flows forth from our mouths, "I mean, we haven't seen a unicorn before, we have no proof that one exists, and there aren't any pictures of unicorns. Thus, we just kind of need to conclude that they don't exist." Of course, the young lady had her wits about her: "There's no proof God exists and yet everyone believes in him. Why is it different with unicorns?" Whoa girl! Touche! Stunned silence was all that could follow, so the conversation came to its conclusion rather abruptly. Another beautiful learning moment for the team.
I love kids.
I often wonder how much of what I see, hear, know and believe is based simply off my environment and the inner-workings of the well-greased social phenomena that is my culture. Generally speaking I feel I have a pretty good grasp on what's innate vs what's learned; what's biological vs what's taught through life's circumstances; what's logical vs what's preposterous. But then I hang out with one of my kiddos and am reminded again that just when I think I have it all figured out, I've actually got it all wrong. (just as a disclaimer I'm very supportive of the LGBT community)
You would think it would be the most logical conclusion that a man and a woman would end up together, married with a family. A child should naturally assume this considering the fact that they have both a mother and a father. Many would assume it's a natural inclination for a man to desire a woman, or visa-versa, due to the fact that it requires both sexes to create a life. This is what marriage is all about, right? Procreation? Then a child comes to me during a very casual conversation about the "gray areas" of strangers and admits that he'll likely end up never marrying or in one of those "uni-sex" marriages when he's older. This kiddo in particular attempts logic in every ounce of his life, although sometimes he can go a little too far and overgeneralize, overall he's quite in-tune has reasonable arguments. Seeing as this child often struggles to understand cultural norms, many would say his thoughts are biologically-driven and flow from a deeper human-nature phenomena. So why is it that this child has come to the conclusion that he'd end up with a man or not married at all when the time comes? That's not what we'd typically assume would come from a child without excessive amounts of cultural influence. Why, then, would he choose a man over a woman? Because he knows boys better, gets along with them, and doesn't have any lady friends. Yes, when we tell a six year old they might get married in the future to someone of the opposite sex they tend to say "ewww!", but this was not the reaction I received, and the kiddo in question is twelve, not six. Logically, to this child who hasn't much experience with the LGBT community, he should be with a dude in the future. I must say I really loved that he said that. It was one of the more incredible things I've heard from a child and illustrates that open-mindedness and logic can come from anywhere, anytime and anyone. This was one of two times I was so stunned into silence by a response that there was nowhere else the conversation could really flow. (I really love these mutually-learning moments)
Then of course there's the conversation shared with a similarly-aged kiddo about unicorns. It seems slightly age-inappropriate for a middle schooler to legitimately believe in unicorns, doesn't it? We feared kids may pick on her and find her peculiar if she believes they truly exist, so naturally, we spark a conversation about it. She begins by being defensive, as expected, and meets most of our very calm, collected comments with angry jabs in retaliation. Eventually we believe we have her to a point where she just can't argue this one any further. We think we've won. Then a poorly-planned comment flows forth from our mouths, "I mean, we haven't seen a unicorn before, we have no proof that one exists, and there aren't any pictures of unicorns. Thus, we just kind of need to conclude that they don't exist." Of course, the young lady had her wits about her: "There's no proof God exists and yet everyone believes in him. Why is it different with unicorns?" Whoa girl! Touche! Stunned silence was all that could follow, so the conversation came to its conclusion rather abruptly. Another beautiful learning moment for the team.
I love kids.
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