Beta Reader Blast!!!
Serena
http://poetreeandbooks.blogspot.com/
What a HUGE help my first beta reader, Serena, was! She accepted the challenge of accompanying me through the entire process of Dorobo, even before I was at my mid-way point. Thank goodness for her astounding patience and excellence with her fine-tune grammatical comb! One of the most amazing contributions she is responsible for is Thane's character development. A crucial part in the tale was going to be saved for a later time in the novel, however Serena expressed concern that she didn't feel nearly as connected to Thane as she should be for one of a novel's protagonists. So I incorporated a pivotal moment earlier on, and I owe it all to Serena!
Furthermore, she found the video of the super-awesomely-horrifyingly-real ice wave that I reposted earlier. So cool ;)
"They’ve clutched the ledge of their lives for so long that they’ve lost the will to fight. They fall.
Lifeless red eyes, unstrapped masks. The orange day color means it’s a slower death. Not so immediate; not as painful. But it’s torturous. You have a longer time to ponder your death. And watching all these people give up on life makes me want to join them. Their eyes show their relief. They look so pleased when the poison finally punctures their lungs, squeezing the final breath from their already lifeless bodies. They deflate so slowly."
Thank you for all you've done, Serena! I hope I get the pleasure of working with you again in the future :)
Happy St. Patrick's Day all!!
http://poetreeandbooks.blogspot.com/
What a HUGE help my first beta reader, Serena, was! She accepted the challenge of accompanying me through the entire process of Dorobo, even before I was at my mid-way point. Thank goodness for her astounding patience and excellence with her fine-tune grammatical comb! One of the most amazing contributions she is responsible for is Thane's character development. A crucial part in the tale was going to be saved for a later time in the novel, however Serena expressed concern that she didn't feel nearly as connected to Thane as she should be for one of a novel's protagonists. So I incorporated a pivotal moment earlier on, and I owe it all to Serena!
"They’ve clutched the ledge of their lives for so long that they’ve lost the will to fight. They fall.
Lifeless red eyes, unstrapped masks. The orange day color means it’s a slower death. Not so immediate; not as painful. But it’s torturous. You have a longer time to ponder your death. And watching all these people give up on life makes me want to join them. Their eyes show their relief. They look so pleased when the poison finally punctures their lungs, squeezing the final breath from their already lifeless bodies. They deflate so slowly."
-Dorobo
Thank you for all you've done, Serena! I hope I get the pleasure of working with you again in the future :)
Happy St. Patrick's Day all!!
Awww, so glad I could help!
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